


Not As a Gift

by MauveCat



Series: Family Snapshots [6]
Category: Endless Summer (Visual Novel)
Genre: Family Feels, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:20:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,856
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24338056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MauveCat/pseuds/MauveCat
Summary: A wedding brings up memories
Relationships: Grace Hall/Aleister Rourke
Series: Family Snapshots [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1729411
Comments: 5
Kudos: 8





	Not As a Gift

I take a few steps back to get a better view of myself in the mirror. I suppose I look all right – and I should. The dress is far more expensive than anything I've ever bought for myself. The shop clerk told me the color is called “midnight peacock” but it's blue to me. Giving the full skirt a twitch, I sigh. I feel like I'm wearing a costume but I know how important this day is to my brother. Even though neither he nor Grace said a word about what I should wear, I want them to know that I'll support them in any way I can and that includes dressing up of my own free will. It was surprisingly nerve-wracking to get the garment bag safely here from the small apartment I keep for my London stays.

I pick up my phone and go to my email. I've been checking every fifteen minutes and I'm ready to give the shop a call if they haven't– I feel my heart rate slow when I see the confirmation I've been waiting for. _Finally_. I can't help smiling at my anxiety. A late delivery wouldn't be the end of the world, after all. I still feel better. I suppose even if facing the actual end of the world has a way of readjusting a person's priorities, that doesn't render everything else meaningless.

Slipping the phone into my new handbag – blue to match my dress, tiny and sparkly and incredibly impractical – I leave the guest room and walk down the hallway. I knock on a door and ask, “Can I come in?”

“Please!” Grace calls breathlessly. “I need a little help.”

I push the door open to enter, and I stop in my tracks. “Oh, _chiquilla_. You look....”

“Undone.” She smiles at me and gestures at the back of her dress. “My arms aren't quite long enough so I usually ask for Aleister's help with this sort of thing. Could you get the zipper for me?”

I set down my handbag and walk over to her. As I help her fasten her dress, I ask, “Is it comfortable?”

“Not compared to what I usually wear, but I can put up with it for one day,” Grace laughs.

“Well, it's lovely. You're lovely. Aleister won't know what hit him.”

“That's the idea.” She smooths down the ivory fabric of her dress, even fuller than mine. There are butterflies embroidered in pale gold dancing around the filmy overskirt. “Neither of us wants a religious ceremony, and I _thought_ I didn't need a special dress for just one day, but when I saw this, it just felt right.” Turning around, she takes my hands in hers. “And Estela... oh, you're gorgeous.”

“It's the dress.”

“No, it's you. You're not allowed to disagree with me today.” She pulls me into a crushing hug and I have to laugh.

“And you're not allowed to crack my ribs, not when our car will be here any minute.”

Her eyes fly to the clock. “Oh!” She sits down and picks up a small bundle of lace and pearls from where it rests on a tottering pile of scientific journals. She carefully pins it to the dark braids coiled on top of her head and looks up from the mirror uncertainly. “How's this? Is it too... silly? I'll take it off if you think it's too silly.”

I tilt my head and examine her critically from several angles, hoping that it appears that I know what I'm looking for – what would Michelle do in this situation? – before I reach out and make a minute adjustment. “There.”

“Thank you.” Grace stands up and takes my hands again. “Estela... thank you. For being here with me today, for Aleister, for... for everything.” She blinks back tears.

The familiar ache in my heart is still there, but there's plenty of room now for other emotions... and a lot more room for other people. I give her small hands a squeeze. “We're already family, Grace, and we're going to be family twice over now. We're going to be sisters. And we're also going to be late, so come on.” Gathering our purses, we leave Aleister and Grace's flat; I make sure the door is locked behind us even though I know IRIS always double-checks.

When we get downstairs, I locate our car and check the driver's credentials. I help Grace into the back seat, careful of the silk and tulle, and my phone vibrates as I join her. I look at it as the car pulls into traffic and I give Grace a smile. “It's Jake.” She nods and stares out the window, both feet tapping against the floor, her hands twisting the strap of her purse so hard it might break.

I look at the text. _You girls on your way? A is wearing a path in the carpet. Might jump out the window if G isn't here soon._

I tap out a reply: _In the car. 20 minutes at most. Keep him calm._ Jake and I had hoped that separating them for a few hours might settle them both, but it looks like we were wrong. Turning back to Grace, I ask, “Are you all right with your parents not being here?”

She sighs. “Mom is opposed to marriage on principle so even if she did come, she'd give a running commentary through the whole thing. I wish my dad could be with me but he understands why we're just going to the registry office. Aleister and I promised to stop over in Toledo before we go to La Huerta so his family can have a reception for us.”

“That's good. The rest of ....” I glance at the driver. “Our family isn't happy they're missing it, but as long as they get to watch the livestream, they'll forgive us. Apparently we're having, according to Raj, a hell of a rager once we're all together.”

A huge smile splits her face. “I can't wait to see everyone.” We pass the rest of the ride in idle chatter, both of us too excited to hold a real conversation. We're at the registry office before we know it.

Grace looks at the gray stone building, her eyes huge behind her glasses. “This is it,” she breathes.

“Having second thoughts?” I ask with a nudge.

“Not a chance.” She beams at me and takes my hand. “Let's do this.” She's the first one through the door.

Once inside, I collect the large white box waiting for me at the reception desk. It's light but I still hold it carefully. “Stairs or lift?” I ask. It's all the same to me – unlike Grace, I decided to wear flats.

Grace gives me a quick smile. “Look at you, talking like a native. Stairs, I think... maybe it'll help with the jitters.” We walk a few steps before she stops. “But what if I slip? I can't sprain an ankle today.” Obligingly, I turn around but she keeps talking. “We could get stuck between floors, though,” she frets.

I put my free arm around her shoulders and give her a quick hug. “We won't, Grace, I promise. Come on, let's get you upstairs.”

When we reach our floor, Grace looks around until she spots the ladies' room. “I... think I need a minute. Would you let Aleister know I'll be right in?”

“Of course.”

As I enter the waiting room, the clerk looks up at in relief. “Ah, the bride is here!” Aleister whirls around and his face falls when he sees me. His reaction is too comical for me to find any offense in his disappointment.

“Close. Sister, also maid of honor – all in one badass package,” Jake says as he points his phone at me. I hear Quinn squeal through the speaker. “Give us a twirl, Katniss.”

“Seriously?” But I put the box on a table and spin slowly in place as he films me.

“Oh my God, Jake, zoom in on her hair!” Michelle, of course. Jake walks behind me and I stand still, rolling my eyes. “You watched the tutorials I sent you!”

“Yes, they were very helpful. Give me that.” Without turning around, I pluck the phone from Jake's hand and look into the camera. I can't help smiling as I see all my friends, minimized into tiny thumbnails, looking back at me. There's no mistaking everyone's excitement and joy. “All right, _mi familia_. I'm going to pause for a few minutes while we get set up – we'll be back soon. Don't go anywhere.”

I put the phone on the table and walk over to my brother. I hold him close for a few moments before I pull away just far enough to look at him. “How are you?”

Aleister is even paler than usual. “Terrified. I might be ill any moment now.” But his smile lights up the room.

I pat his shoulder. “Grace is in the same state. You're well-suited for each other.” Stepping away from him, I open the florist's box and pull out two boutonnieres. I pin the first one on Aleister's lapel but he's so focused on the door that I doubt he even notices. “You next, _cabrón._ ” I tell Jake.

When he sees the flowers I chose, he gives me a smile that lacks any trace of his usual sarcasm. “Looks good, Estela.”

Keeping my eyes on his chest, I make sure the boutonniere – glossy tropical greenery and a small white lily – is firmly anchored. “It seemed appropriate,” I murmur. I step away and take a breath – I'm proud that it's only a little shaky. “Now why don't you make yourself useful and escort the bride in?” He grins and follows my orders.

The clerk busies himself with some papers as I walk over to Aleister. “Let's sit down for a minute.”

He shakes his head absently. “I think I'm supposed to stand.”

“Only during the ceremony. Come on.” I urge him toward a couch and he obediently sits down with me. “It won't be long now.”

Somehow, he loses even more color. “I know.” He looks at me and his eyes come into focus. “Estela... how are you?”

I know what he means. “I'm happy. Really,” I say when he opens his mouth. “There's... a lot going on besides that, but right now, I'm happy for you and for Grace. And I'm even happy for myself. I'm so glad to be here to share this with you both.” My voice wavers a little and I swallow hard.

He puts his arm around me and I rest my head on his shoulder for a moment. “I know, and there aren't enough words to tell you how grateful I am to have you in my life. We might not be a... _typical_ kind of family –” I have to laugh at that. “But I am so very glad that we are _our_ kind of family.”

We both jump as the door opens and Jake says, “So are you ready or not, Malfoy? Let's speed this up – we got reservations for dinner in less than an hour.”

“Wait, we're going to do this right.” I stand up and go to the florist's box. I put my smaller arrangement aside and pull out Grace's bouquet. I look back at Aleister, frozen in place. “Now you should stand up.” He nods and rises.

I slip around Jake and hand Grace her bouquet. Her eyes fill with tears when she sees the sprawling arrangement of dark green palm leaves, white lilies, and purplish-blue passion flowers. “Oh... _Estela...._ ”

I lean down to kiss her cheek. “They're not quite the same as what we had on La Huerta, but I hope you like them.” She sniffs hard and smiles brilliantly at me, and that's my answer. “Give me a second to start filming, all right?”

Going back in the office, I nod at the clerk, who gets up and goes to the room we've reserved for the ceremony. I smile at my brother as I pick up the phone again. “All right, get over there.” He nods jerkily and stands near the door. His hands are shaking. I take a deep breath and make sure I'm ready to record. “Pay attention, everyone, here we go.”

I start filming as Grace enters on Jake's arm and I hear our friends – our family – cheering as she leaves him and takes Aleister's hand. Craig and Zahra are whooping raucously, but I don't tell them to behave. My brother's eyes are wet but his smile is joyous. For just a moment, the sleek smartwatch on his wrist lights up with a soft blue glow. Grace must see it too, because she shifts her grip to give the screen an affectionate tap.

Grace and Aleister go in first; Jake steps over to me and smoothly reclaims his phone. “Grab your flowers, Katniss – it's show time.”

I try to pay attention to the brief ceremony but it seems to be over in a heartbeat. Words are said and plain gold rings are exchanged and it's mostly a blur for me, but I clearly hear Aleister as he says, “Grace, you are a rare, rare find. May we look forward to our future together with hope and happiness and always remember the feelings we share for each other on this, our wedding day.”

And then our family is cheering again and I'm wiping away tears as Jake and I sign the certificate as witnesses. And just like that, it's over and we're standing in the hallway and Grace and Aleister are married.

Before long, we're all sliding into a secluded table in a surprisingly elegant restaurant. Jake pulls the maitre d' aside and asks for a bottle of champagne. Grace looks up from carefully setting her bouquet on its own chair but before she can speak, Aleister touches the man's sleeve and whispers something to him. He nods and walks away

I look at Jake. “This is a lovely restaurant. And you say that you picked it?”

“Don't sound so shocked. I got hidden depths, you know, and my boss doesn't need to know what I do with my expense account.” He turns his attention to Grace and Aleister. “I still don't understand why you two had to get hitched so sudden. You're lucky I could file a flight plan in time to fly Estela in from San Trobida.”

They look at each other and share a smile. “We really appreciate it, Jake, and we're glad you're here too. It wouldn't have been the same without some of our family here with us,” Grace says as she twines her fingers with Aleister's.

“Yep. I'm the life of every party. Still don't answer my question, though.”

“Well....” After Grace gives him a tiny nod, Aleister manages to tear his gaze away from his wife's for a moment. “We received some... unexpected news and to our mutual surprise, we discovered that we're both far more old-fashioned than either of us had suspected.”

“Which means _what_ , exactly?”

I fuss with my napkin to hide my smile at Jake's irritation. “Be patient, _cabrón._ You'll catch up eventually.”

“Funny.” Jake falls silent as the maitre d' returns, and he frowns a little. “Not that I object, but why bring two bottles at once? Shouldn't we finish one first?” His frown deepens as three glasses are poured from the first bottle, and one from the second. Grace accepts that glass with a smile. “Okay, what's goin' on?” Jake picks up the bottle and looks at it. “Sparkling cider? Don't tell me you expect Grace to be the designated driver or something.” We all stay silent and he looks from one of us to another several times before his jaw drops. “You're _kidding._ ”

“Yes, we are. My compliments, Jake,” Aleister drawls. “You've achieved comprehension.”

“How the hell did that happen?”

Grace giggles and puts her glass down. Aleister leans back and I can tell he's trying not to smile. “The traditional method, I assure you. I don't intend to follow in my father's footsteps.”

“Yeah, yeah. Stupid question.” Jake stands up and leans over the table to kiss the top of Grace's head. “Congratulations, Brainiac. You too,” he adds as he grasps Aleister's hand. He glares at me as he sits, but there's a lot more affection than irritation in his voice when he speaks. “Did you know about this when we flew in?”

I shake my head. “No, I didn't find out until the day before yesterday. They want to tell everyone in person.” I smile in remembered warmth at the thought that I was the first person they told, even before Grace's mother.

He groans. “So I gotta keep this a secret until we all fly down to La Huerta next month? Can I at least say something at the airport?”

Grace gives him a stern look. “Not a word. Varyyn and Diego won't be with us at the airport.”

“Fiiiine. Just want you to know you're killin' me.” Jake lifts his glass. “To the happy couple and their surprise passenger.”

Several hours and an excellent dinner later, Jake and I stand and watch Grace and Aleister's car pull away. He says, “What now, Katniss? You feel like going somewhere, or should we call it a night and split a rideshare? My hotel isn't far from your place.”

I look up at the blank dark sky. I love a lot of things about London, but not the way the city lights usually blot out the stars. “Actually, I... think I'd like to walk a little. But we can get together tomorrow if you like.”

“Nah. Walking sounds pretty good, now that you mention it.” He extends his arm to me.

Putting my arm through his, I say, “Such a gentleman.”

“I told ya. Hidden depths.”

We stroll along for a while in comfortable silence. People keep turning to gaze at us, giving us sentimental smiles, and I finally realize why. Our formal clothes, Jake's boutonniere, my bouquet, our obvious fondness for each other... they think we're newlyweds. I look down at the flowers in my hand. The passion flowers look so much like the bloom that Taylor chose at our wedding, the one that Seraxa told us meant devotion. And with that thought, everything that I've managed to suppress all day wells up without warning.

Jake looks at me when I sniffle. “I was wondering when it was gonna hit. C'mon.” He steers me through the gates of a small park and we sit on a well-lit bench. He passes me a handkerchief and sits quietly, rubbing my back while I collect myself.

When I feel a little more composed, I fold the handkerchief and put it in my purse. I'm not sure about the etiquette of the situation but I can't imagine he wants it back. “Sorry about that.”

He shakes his head. “Nothing to be sorry for. You did good today.”

In spite of myself, I smile. “A baby. Can you believe it?”

“Actually, yeah. Neither of 'em had anything close to a normal childhood and I think they both learned a lot from that. I think they wanna do this right, even if it means a shotgun wedding. Their kid's gonna be lucky,” he says with confidence. “And you. You're gonna be an auntie.”

“I... I am, aren't I?” I hadn't even thought of it in those terms.

“Yep. You get to buy the kid all the loud toys that parents hate, fill 'em up with ice cream and then bring them back all sticky and keyed up. It's gonna be great.”

“Oh, they'll hate that.”

“Sure will. And they'll love it, too. That's how families work.”

“I guess it is.” I glance up at the sky.

“Having a rough time lately?”

I nod. “Now and then,” I say quietly. “I still have horrible days, but... I have good days, too. Do you....” My voice is trembling but I make myself continue. “Do you think Taylor would mind, or would she be happy about that?”

“Hell, no, she wouldn't mind!” Jake says vehemently. “The last thing she'd want is for you to be miserable every day of your life.”

He's telling me what the other Catalysts keep telling me. I want to believe they're right. I keep reminding myself that endless grief and misery doesn't show any respect for my lost wife's sacrifice... but all the same, every time I catch myself taking pleasure in something as simple as a new dress, it's like a tiny voice in the back of my head starts whispering, _traitor_. Sighing, I look over at him. “Tio Nicolas has been trying to set me up.” Jake mutters something and rubs a hand over his eyes. “No, no, I'm not upset about it. He means well and he's actually managed to pick out some very nice women. The last one was a neighbor's granddaughter. We had dinner. She's a veterinarian, she's very pretty....” I shrug. “If things were different, who knows?”

“But they're not different, are they?”

I shake my head. “No.” I take a deep breath and look at him. “And what have you been up to? You said on the plane that you'd just come back from visiting your parents?”

He accepts the change of topic easily. “Yeah. They're doin' good. There was a church picnic last week and they wanted me there.” He laughs without much humor. “Mom says the church ladies were so good to her while I was on the run – _so_ supportive and understanding to poor Josie, what with her traitor son and all. Now that I've been cleared, she likes to parade me around every chance she gets. Can't say she didn't earn the right to get back at her friends if she feels like it.”

“Good for her. I like her already.”

“I'll get you an invite to the next picnic, then. Hope you like ambrosia salad.”

“Whatever it is, I'll learn to love it.” I hesitate. “Have you talked to Mike's parents yet?”

He stares into the trees. “In person? No. They're... really kind about it, but they still don't want to talk to me.” He's quiet for a few moments. “Don't really blame them for that. Don't think they need to know the whole truth, either. They already know their son died a hero – can't see how it'd help them to find out he had to do it twice.”

I nod and take his hand. “You know, I think I'm in the mood for an all-nighter with greasy food and bad action movies. We can get both at my place if you want.”

He smiles. “Sounds fine to me, Katniss.” As we stand up, I look at the sky again. Somehow, against the dull sky, I see a single shooting star. It's gone before I can point it out to Jake, but I still smile and feel a little more at peace.  
  


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> “Hearts are not had as a gift but hearts are earned
> 
> By those not entirely beautiful.”
> 
> – William Butler Yeats, “A Prayer For My Daughter”


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